A priest, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.

Engineer: What’s with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes! Doctor: I don’t know but I’ve never seen such ineptitude!

Priest: Hey, here comes the greens keeper, let’s have a word with him.

Priest: Say George, what’s with that group ahead of us? They’re rather slow, aren’t they?

George: Oh yes, that’s a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sights while saving our club house last year. So we let them play anytime free of charge!

(silence)

Priest: That’s so sad, I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.

Doctor: Good idea, and I’m going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there’s anything he can do for them.

Engineer: Why can’t these guys play at night???

 

>>>>>>>>>> 

 

Then there was the story of the three engineers in a bar having a couple of drinks and brooding about what kind of engineer God is. “Of course, God is a Mechanical Engineer”, says the Mechanical Engineer, ”sure, look at the human skeleton. It’s a marvel of joints, linkages, support and it gives such free movement of the body.” “No way, God’s an Electrical Engineer”, piped the Electrical Engineer, “think about the brain and the nervous system, it’s an incredibly vast and complex electrical masterpiece!” “You’re both wrong”, said the Civil Engineer, “God’s a Civil Engineer, what other engineer would run a waste water line through a recreational area?” 

 

And finally: You might be an engineer if… you have no life and you can PROVE it mathematically.We are currently creating content for this section. In order to be able to keep up with our high standards of service, we need a little more time. Please stop by again. Thank you for your interest!

You might be an engineer if . . .
. . . you enjoy pain.

. . . you know vector calculus but you can’t remember how to do long division.

. . . you chuckle whenever anyone says “centrifugal force.”

. . . you’ve actually ever used every single function on your graphing calculator.

. . . when you look in the mirror, you see an engineering major.

. . . it is sunny and 70 degrees outside, and you are working on a computer.

. . . you frequently whistle the theme song to “MacGyver.”

. . . you always do homework on Friday nights.

. . . you know how to integrate a chicken and can take the derivative of water.

. . . you think in “math.”

. . . you’ve calculated that the World Series actually diverges.

. . . you hesitate to look at something because you don’t want to break down its wave function.

. . . you have a pet named after a scientist.

. . . you laugh at jokes about mathematicians.

. . . the Humane Society has had you arrested because you actually performed the Schroedinger’s Cat Experiment.

. . . you can translate English into Binary.

. . . you can’t remember what’s behind the door in the science building which says "Exit.”

 . . . you have to bring a jacket with you, in the middle of summer, because there’s a wind-chill factor in the lab.

. . . you are completely addicted to caffeine.

. . . you avoid doing anything because you don’t want to contribute to the eventual heat-death of the universe.

. . . you consider any non-science course “easy.”

. . . when your professor asks you where your homework is, you claim to have accidentally determined its momentum so precisely, that according to Heisenberg it could be anywhere in the universe.

. . . the “fun” center of your brain has deteriorated from lack of use.

. . . you’ll assume that a “horse” is a “sphere” in order to make the math easier.

. . . you understood more than five of these indicators.

. . . you make a hard copy of this list and post it on your office door.